As I sat down to think of a title for this blog, I decided it should be a catchy phrase that people could recognize easily and would pique a potential readers interest. I started thinking about different cool phrases people use and ways I could tweak them to fit my content. Then I thought of cool ways I could use my name in the title or other personal traits that may draw readers in.
Out of nowhere, the idea of writing for my life came to me. I think I had heard it before somewhere and at the time I thought it was cool but I hadn't gotten to the point where the pressure to write was as intense as it is now, so I just let the idea pass.
However, now, as I sit here, I realize that at this point in my life, the title of the blog is a very accurate depiction of where I am. I truly am writing for my life...the life of my dreams.
Right now, I'm kinda stuck in a job that I just started hating last week. Even though the hatred is new, it is burning inside of me like the flames of a thousand candles. The environment, the coworkers and the culture has proven to be more than I can bear. It seems that most people there operate with an attitude and outlook that goes against everything I stand for. A few years ago I realized how things went there and I vowed that I would not let the job change me. I would not become one of those miserable ass employees that comes to work angry and leaves even angrier.
But right now, there are things going on that have threatened to force me to change. Of course, some change can be good, but when "changing" means going from a happy, life-loving, positive team player to a disgruntled, angry, union-calling bitch who keeps her office door shut between the hours of 9 to 5, I'm going to resist that change with all my might.
So...here I am. Writing.
As I think back, I've always been a writer. I've always written stories even if they were never completed. Always wondered what it would feel like to finish a book and then see it on the shelf of a bookstore. I was never able to finish a story because my inner mean girl would always show up, take residence in my head and proceed to spout evil, disparaging feedback that convinced me no one was interested. Fear has kept me from doing a lot of things, but more than fear is my own internal voice that adds doubt to the equation and makes me stop right in my tracks.
"Isn't it easier to just go to work everyday? Why would you try anything like that? What if people don't like it." I guess these are good questions. Questions that a responsible adult would ask themselves to make sure they are not being guided by their 7year old, responsibility-less, former self. But the sad part is that I let those questions stop me before. Not now. The pressure is too great. I have to make a move or I'll go crazy.
In addition to the bullshit at work, there's the simple fact that I feel like I NEED to write. I feel that if I don't do it now, I might not be able to later. Its as if one night, some fierce creature is going to come to me while I sleep and rip away the powers because I was too stupid not to use them. I can't let that happen.
And there's always been the nagging feeling inside of me that I CANNOT and SHOULD NOT work for someone else. I've always known I needed the freedom that working for yourself provides. I long for it.
And so, the sum of all of these parts is that I am finally ready. Ready to write. Ready to tell all of the stories that are inside my overly anxious brain. Ready to make a living out of it. Ready to FINALLY break free from the gulag that has been my experience with "employeehood" and make the move to CEO of my life and my future. I feel like fate is pushing me in this direction.
I want to use this blog to connect with other writers, to get feedback on my ideas and simply share thoughts on life, love, goals and dreams. Please feel free to leave comments, questions, ideas and critique. This interaction is one of the main reasons I decided to do this. I'm nervous about this endeavor but I want to use those feelings as fuel to move me forward. With your help, I can do just that. No pressure of course :)
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